I had long since wondered about the terms 'dating' and 'going out'. These vague concepts are usually defined with the help of equally vague concepts such as 'Romance' and 'Intimacy', while (un)scrupulously skirting the issue of sexual relations. Almost all explanations have left me with a vague sense of limbo. And almost all explanations have proved unsatisfactory in answering questions like
Can one date ones spouse?
If one is married, can one go out with a person other than ones spouse? Will this amount to cheating?
Can you date/go out with two people at the same time? Is this cheating?
The thorn is ofcourse in the definitions. And here be definitions that are the product of much < suitably profound word to indicate, nothing better to do > thought.
Dating:An individual is in the state of dating when he/she indulges in any collaborative activity performed in close proximity to a person(herewith referred to as the date) with fixed intent of having sexual relations with said date within a reasonably short duration of time after the said date.
Note that sexual relations need not be so restrictive as in the Clintonion sense, and that the pivotal words are fixed intent.i.e. very crudely put, you will only date a person if you are absolutely sure you want to sleep with that person.
Going Out: An individual is in the state of going-out when he/she indulges in any collaborative activity performed in close proximity to a person(herewith referred to as the partner) with some intent of having sexual relations with said partner within a reasonably short duration of time after the said going-out-session. (i.e. You aren't really sure... not 100%, but you're open to the possibility).
These two definitions necessitate a third definition,
Hanging out: An individual will hang out with another individual when he/she indulges in any collaborative activity performed in close proximity to a person(herewith referred to as the partner) with no intent of having sexual relations with said partner at any time.
These definitions, whilst not being accurate, does undeniably give you that warm fuzzy feeling which accompanies some kind of pseudo-understanding.
revisiting our earlier dilemmas,
Hell yes, you can date your spouse. You even have the option of going out; depends on how you define the reasonable time frame. On the other hand there will be certain moral issues to deal with If a married person dates or goes out with a person other than his/her spouse. You can most certainly date/go out with two people at the same time. Whether this is cheating is irrelevant.
There are some interesting side-effects;
Note that the definitions are from an individual perspective. And hence it is entirely possible to have a situation in which one person thinks they are dating whilst the other person perceives the situation as hanging out.
The definitions do not preclude two individuals merely hanging out, only to find themselves dating
Not bad eh? wot?
But the icing on the gateaux for me, is that, when you dear reader, go-out/date/hang-out, you will now remember my definitions and try to find a match. Oh oh and you'd also be trying to figure out if your partner thinks of it as dating or going out or hanging out. Muahahhahahahhaaaaaaaa. Sometimes, it is a pity, that I don't have much of a readership.
Some of the ideas, especially the definition of dating, had significant contributions from a colleague/s who will be most relieved that I've not referred to his/their contributions oops.
urped by gumz @ 3:44 PM
