1. Champagne is a very poor substitute for water, directly after breakfast.
2. Red wine does not help after making mistake 1.

urped by gumz @ 1:42 PM

Proven world oil reserves stand at 1 trillion barrels of oil according to this and this. There is disagreement on how long this will last(estimates vary from 30-60 years). Most estimates do not take into account the rising rate of oil consumption; china's oil consumption rose by 20% last year. However, in the light of undiscovered resources which could be as high as 3 times the current reserves, the so called energy crisis looses its credibility. Long Term World Oil Supply Scenarios gives the really low down on the subject.

Consider the worlds coal reserves that will last us a good 200 hundred years, and one is tempted to ask, energy crisis? what energy crisis?

No wonder the alternate energy tack is taking it's sweet time, given that neccesity is the mother of invention. < pause >

Other thoughts on environmentalism (is that a word?) being a fad and the oil dependent world economy are whirling round my head, but using that cliche just killed the mother of invention to blog it.

urped by gumz @ 1:06 PM

How is it that we allow insignificant little twerps with miniscule minds bloated with a false sense of ability, with not a single bone of creativity nor people sense in their bodies to dictate actions that will affect the lives of many? No, I'm not talking about George fricking Bush.

urped by gumz @ 11:08 AM

...
Do you recall when we were released
Clutching diplomas and degrees
Bursting out like divers breath
That hasn't hit the surface yet

Do you ever feel this way
Like somehow we have been betrayed
And you wanna' rail against the crowd
Conspicuos and loud
...
(Chase the Buffalo - Pierce Pettis)


I don't think I've felt like the first verse for a very long time; I have a feeling that no one really feels like that anymore; how very sad. When did life become a series of seamless transitions, and not a leap into the unknown? Why don't we feel excited about life? About LIFE, and not just the fleeting things we do? When did we get brainwashed into playing safe?

Life is a dual highway with no turnoffs. One lane being, Degree -> Corporate Dummy/MS -> Corporate Zombie; the other lane is the whole marriage, funerals, weddings, social functions that require facial muscle strain, crap.

We allow our lives to be dictated by all the wrong things. We allow ourselves to be wound up like toy soldiers. How is it that we have come to accept this as normal?

Routine; everything is a routine these days.Breaking out of a routine, just means conforming to another routine; skipping grooves. It's like our lives have been quantized; almost as if there are predefined routines that we are supposed to fit into; like energy levels of an atom. And inbetween these energy levels, what lies inbetween?

Enough of this, people! It's time for adventure! Time to leap into the void!

urped by gumz @ 6:59 PM

Well, I'm not high on paint fumes and there is absolutely no chance that I've been keeping strange company. So what will follow, I must presume, is a product of a sober and unaffected mind.

Sagey's Post on a certain idiomatic phrase involving mammary glands has been bugging me. While the explanation given in the said post is... novel, shall we say, I had to get to the heart(breast?) of the matter.

It turns out that, the primary meaning of tits-up is, dead or not operating; in short, kaput. A little bit more digging uncovers the fact that it's actually a vulgar form of the idiom belly-up < realization dawns >. I dunno about vulgar really; it does give the expression a feminine feel to it, and is far more fascinating than plain boring belly-up; it's almost alluring. So tits-up is infact used to indicate something going horribly wrong, but by so using the term, you are subconsciously beguiling yourself into believing it's a good thing, see.

So, that's one mystery taken care of. But somewhere along the way I stumble across this list of tit-idioms.

useless as tits on a boar - Why? I'm sure they enjoy it as well...
suck the hind tit - Raw deal? C'mon it's a tit after all...
tits in a wringer - get into trouble? Isn't this an understatement? Ouch.
tough titty - tough luck. I guess that's accurate.

And then, thanks to WordIQ I find out that if you're in the army it ain't tits-up but, Tango Uniform. Military slang rocks! I wish I had watched more war movies. This post is FUBAR, ain't it! How concise, yet expressive; I love it!

And when I think I'm finally done, I come across Ruptured Duck. I guess Marduk will not be all that flattered.

I am now sure that I have shamefully transgressed blogger etiquette by making this particular obligatory_marduk_reference and by harping on Thimal's pet topic, and indiscriminately referencing various blogs in general.

The room is still stationary and the floor is as horizontal as ever, but something inside me tells me I should stop...

urped by gumz @ 4:06 PM

There's something quite fascinating about watching an e-community grow in real time. check it out.

urped by gumz @ 1:14 PM

Who da fella who stole me google advert?

urped by gumz @ 2:18 PM

A spate of blurfing finds me at Taurus'. hmm... can't seem to find the link now. Well I'm pretty sure that's how it got started. Anywayz, according to this, the highest scoring solution gets you a whopping 1962 points with BENZOXYCAMPHORS. I believe the best I've done is 100 something - close to 200, or so I'd like to think.

urped by gumz @ 1:04 PM

"So when Steve Meretzky of Infocom got together with Douglas Adams to create a game based around the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the result was never going to be less than interesting and more than likely insane."

I could kick myself for not trying this earlier!!!

Oh, and now, the pencils are sharpened.

urped by gumz @ 4:27 PM

Not that it's a bad thing. The weekend was spent getting 2 of my good friends welded. A conversation that was related to me by another mutual friend, comes to mind:

Mate: need to take leave to go for a wedding - close friend
Boss: ok. So what does this guy do?
Mate: He's looking for Life on Mars.
Boss: < Pause > he cannot be doing that for a living .....

I guess there is an art of not letting life get in the way.

A lightening fuel strike, found me on the misty roads of [bleep] at 5:00 a.m in search of petrol. A surreal experience; mist, a light drizzle, the lonely petrol shed with it's solitary attendant, and the wiff of petrol in the cold air. I must repeat that someday.

And I still haven't found the time or means to watch Gloomy Sunday. It's on VHS - < sigh > The more interesting movies are still on VHS. The movie is based on the Hungarian Song with the same title, popularly known as the 'suicide song' which supposedly drove a hundred odd people to suicide in the 1930's - I shit you NOT. I have not been able to find an audio version of the song, though it's Hungarian lyrics are out there somewhere. Maybe it's time to re-distribute the song; the movie includes a full version. It would be a nice experiment. hmmmm... requires thought.

Google has been telling me i need a holiday, for some time now. Maybe I should listen . It's been a slow morning. It'll probably be a slow day.

I feel the need to sharpen my pencils.

urped by gumz @ 11:39 AM

Humans are herd creatures; even the most introverted of us tend to need communion. E-communities seem to be the latest manifestation of this herd instinct. You see it in the various e-groups, the bloging-cloging(commenting)thingy, etc. Even the wife is into this ephotozine thing. Communities;varied, but communities nevertheless.

I've always considered myself to be a bit of a recluse; but even i hang around the peripheries of various communities. The craving to belong and yet at the same time break away. We truly are the strangest creatures.

ok ok I've got way too much time on my hands...

urped by gumz @ 3:18 PM

< something > a.m.: Get up to the screech of an alarm clock wondering why on earth I turned on an alarm; my modus-operandi being, sleep till someone wakes you up. Realize it's actually 3:30 a.m. < shock >

3:30 - 4:00 a.m.: Shower, Iron, Dress, Check Christina's oil - difficult job in the dark. Set of from staging area approximately 20 km from Colombo

4:15 a.m.: rendezvous with agent X in colombo.

4:50 a.m.: Arrive at objective 1 approximately 30 km outside colombo.

4:50 a.m. - 5:05 a.m.: Execute 'Abduct groom'. Sneaking about in the dark and jumping over locked gates required.

5:50 a.m. - Arrive at objective 2 approximately 45 km from objective 1.

5:50 a.m. - 6:15 a.m.: Execute 'Abduct bride'.

7:00 a.m. - drop of package at [bleep] embassy in colombo.

Life is a ball, ain't it.

Please do not try this, yourself. The people who tried this stunt are certified lunatics. Even if you consider yourself a lunatic, you cannot possibly have understood that drivel. Do yourself a favor, and forget you ever read this.

urped by gumz @ 3:43 PM

sucks.

urped by gumz @ 3:35 PM

Finally, we're about to conquer Nandos. Surmounting the difficulties of having no wheels and dragging Prabu away from his C examination papers, we ARE finally set! Off we go. Finally, finally... stay posted for the review. < fingers crossed > Hey, didn't even have to do the virgin thing, hehehhe

urped by gumz @ 12:27 PM

I don't know whether i should be pissed off, amused or disappointed. It's 3 days since the darned thing opened, and i have not even seen, let alone savored the grub.

Day1: Having seen the Nandos Sign in front of Crescat, yours truly is all hyped up. It's just that I've never been to an opening of a new food joint; i guess i wanted to see if it's anything like reading a book that's just been put out. Plus, i really wanted to stick it to the Deli guys who palmed off a block of ice disguised as a Frappe the last time around.

After getting the wife to cancel all kinds of appointments, we arrive at the hallowed portals of Nandos, only to see a cheap dot-matrix printout sporting the words 'private party' stuck on the said portal. Private Party??????!!!! Couldn't they have said so earlier? Of course they might have if i had enquired beforehand...

Why would anyone want an exclusive party for a fast food joint anyway? Arggggghhhhhh!!! We ask wot it's all about, and the guy asks us if we have invitations. Ummm No, we say. The guy gives us a bugger off expression and informs us that they'll be open tomorrow.

We quietly, skulk away and let the deli guys rip us off yet again. Actually, we could have

1. Said yes, we do have an invitation
2. Just walked in nonchalantly pretending to be deaf
3. Threatened to urinate at the entrance

< sigh > these things never come to you when you really need em.

Day 2: @#%*&###!?!? ONLY take-away; and there's a queue a bloody mile long!! And a chap has the audacity to say that this is only for today, and that normal operations will commence, yes... you guessed it, tomorrow. The Deli guys get another turn at the now popular rip-gumz-off game.

It's mind boggling to think what would happen today. Just how does one get to sink ones teeth into a Nandos chicken Peri Peri? Maybe Sacrificing a virgin to the Chicken Gods of Nandos, in front of Crescat will help.

urped by gumz @ 11:18 AM

Wow! Incredible! Stupendous!

The blogosphere has, of late, been blighted with a dearth of blogs with the exception of Thimal's. How do you do it, thimal old chap ? There's a lesson to be learnt here, people.

It's strange how everyone seems to have been assaulted by workus nymphus, pretty much simultaneously. Coincidence? Or is there some cosmic connection?

Thankfully, I find myself with some free time to blurf, blog and breath. WooHooooooo!!!!!!

urped by gumz @ 10:21 AM

It's a bad idea to start the day by watching Sex & the City; a very bad idea. It is also possible to get assaulted by a strawberry cheesecake and end up with pants giving off the said aroma. It's also an extremely bad idea to start the day by blurfing. To round things off, getting a stack of papers to mark 5 minutes after walking into office is, needless to say, a bad way of starting the day. It's gonna be one of those days, i guess.

urped by gumz @ 12:44 PM

Woohoooooo !!!!! Nandos is open!!!!!!

urped by gumz @ 5:38 PM

The Circus Trainer glances maliciously across the ring at the Circus Master. He tells himself, he shouldn't blame the Circus Master - it's the poor fellows bread and butter; he has no choice. He remembers, not without guilt, that it was for his own bread and butter that he, himself joined the Circus. But, it's always easier to blame someone else for ones failures. The trainer knows that he has failed; that is his burden.

The creatures given to him were wild, free, alive with the strange thing that is called curiosity; what more can one expect than the brilliance of freedom. He knew what was involved when he signed up for the circus; he cannot take comfort in the excuse that is ignorance. His job was to break them; to domesticate them; to teach them the wonderful 'tricks' that would make audiences laugh. Taming the wild was a difficult task, but in this he succeeded; not in his eyes though, but in the eyes of the powers that be, and of course, the inebriated audiences - Poor fools, some of them actually believe it's wild animals, unfettered wild animals, performing these amazing tricks. Yes, that was his doing; He took away the shackles that bound their limbs, and in it's stead imprisoned their very souls.

What choice did he have? It was his job. He couldn't grant them freedom by opening their cages and driving them into the wilderness; Even if he succeeded in this noble act, what would their future be? To be hunted and trapped by some hunter and to be trained by his successor. He saw the futility in this course of action. So he did the only thing he could do.

He tamed them and he trained them. He trained them to jump through hoops, turn cartwheels and play dead. But as he trained them, in these ridiculous acts, he also gave them a few, just a few tricks to help them escape; to save themselves. That was his plan. His own pride convinced him it was a good plan. And, many was the time when he thought it was working.

Yet, troupe after troupe of creatures went through his hands, but alas, none escaped. At first he was flabbergasted; he blamed the creatures; stupid he called them; in the next troupe there will be some.

The next troupe never came...

He sees the damage he's done, in their eyes, in their very movements. They have forgotten the wilderness; they've forgotten what it is to be free.

It is his failure - he admits that. But he must carry on, at least for a little while. Just a little while longer. But what about them? what hope for them?

urped by gumz @ 7:43 PM

"Ma, Will they start crying when they burn the coffin?"

"Shhhhhhh!"

"Will they? Will they start..."

"MAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!, when will they start to cry?"

< SLAP >

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!"

kids these days!!! sheesh. But, I guess that was a valid question. Poor kid.

urped by gumz @ 5:08 PM

Maxwell was a bloody lunatic!!! Whenever one gets an absurd solution, assume that the spoon does not exist. It's amazing how that works. amazing... O.k I'm calm now. Maxwell 'ol chap, appologies.

urped by gumz @ 3:52 PM